May in Photos

I don't know about the rest of you but for us May is a very BUSY month! Here's our month in photos...

First a little (lot) of baseball.

Dance recital (actually dress rehearsal, the recital isn't until next weekend)

More baseball. Catcher this time.

More dance.

Mother's Day. I was honored to be in attendance at the "First Annual Mother's Day Band"...

Here's the band in their pajamas. And yes, the band played at approximately 8 AM.

Mother's Day Tea Party at preschool. Always a lovely time.

B's 8th Birthday. He got a new bat. Are you surprised his gift had something to do with baseball?

And a new family moved in under our deck and had five babies.

Aren't they cute?!

But not quite as cute as these three...

Happy almost JUNE everyone!

Always Guessing

As our fingerprints sit on someone's desk somewhere just WAITING. We wait. And we think. And we over-think. And we begin guessing. And we grab at straws. And we search the internet for clue. ANYTHING that will tell us SOMETHING about when we will meet our little girl.

Is it REALLY going to be 18-24 months (and just in case anyone is counting... now it's 16-22 months)? or is it going to be shorter? or (dare I type it) longer?

Our agency (CCAI) sends out a newsletter monthly. They report on how many families they have matched throughout the month. So far, since we submitted our medical conditions checklist (MCC) in March, they have matched about 100 children with their families. We were told by CCAI (in March) that there were approximately 250 families ahead of us. Does that mean there are now only 150 families ahead of us?

Then today, I happened across a blog, and it happened to be another CCAI family who received a referral of a beautiful little girl. She submitted her MCC in January. JANUARY! and she was matched last month! That's only four months! I don't know anything about this family. I don't know anything about the little girl (other than she is super cute), and there are MANY reasons why she might have been matched in just four months. BUT, I do know that back in January when she submitted her medical conditions checklist she was also told the wait would be 18-24 months.

Hmmm....

So, now that you guys are armed with as much as information as we have (pretty much none).... what's your guess?

(Of note: the Mom mentioned above had her dossier logged-in in China in 2007 and was waiting in the non-special needs program for three years before decided to switch to the waiting child program. I just didn't want her to read my blog and think that I totally misrepresented her story. The truth is she has waited a LONG time for her beautiful daughter. In this post, I was just referring to the wait since submission of the MCC.)

Census Workers Stall Paperwork?!

Apparently, because of the census, our home-study fingerprints are stuck in the que and haven't been processed yet. It's been over 60 days and they still aren't done.

Therefore, we can't submit our I-800 (immigration application). Therefore, our immigration approval won't arrive for quite a while. Therefore our dossier won't be ready to go for a LONG while (and our physicals will expire before then so we'll have to get those done again).

All because our country has to count people.

I know, I know... it's important, I get it.

But, right now, nothing seems more important than getting our fingerprint results.

Why? The answer.

I've seen the look in peoples' eyes, even people very close to me, as I talk about G. It's a look of confusion and fear. They are polite and they nod their head and say "wow... that's awesome" or "good for you". But, they really just don't get it.

I don't know how... but I'm going to try to explain.

This little girl who lives on the other side of the world is ALREADY our daughter.

No, we don't know her yet. But, we know she lives.

And as any mother's heart would, it aches for this little girl. I miss her....even though I've never met her.

And as any father would... S misses that he is not kissing his daughter good night tonight.

To many around us she is sort of an abstract idea, one that they can't quite wrap their minds around. To us...

She is VERY much real. She's like the unborn child in a mother's womb. You know she is there, and EVERY day, every hour, every minute... you think of her. You think of what she will look like and you wonder what will make her smile and what will make her cry.

Every time we look at the empty chair at the dinner table, we are reminded that someone is missing. And your heart aches just a bit more. And you wonder... what is she doing RIGHT NOW? Is she happy or sad? Is she healthy or weak? Is she walking? Talking? Sleeping? Eating? Playing? Does she love? and who?

Just for a moment, imagine that your child.... the one asleep in their bed right now... isn't actually in their bed. He or she is far away. You don't know what she did today. You don't know if she got a booboo that you weren't there to kiss, if she was fed a good healthy meal (probably not), or if she was held and snuggled. You didn't get to read her a book or play a silly game, you didn't give her a hug this morning or a kiss good night.

What would you do?

So, when people ask me "why"... I simply have trouble answering.

Because we have a daughter, her name is G, and we need bring her home.

Trust

I'm one of those people that wants and needs to be prepared. I want to be armed with information and knowledge. So, I've been reading blogs, books and talking to friends about adoption, about attachment, about special needs. But, doing all this preparation is REALLY scaring me.

Of what you asked? Pretty much EVERYTHING!

• that we won't know how to parent her
• that she will be MORE SCARED than us and what does scared look like in a 15-36 month old?
• that she won't love us. I know that sounds terribly selfish ... but the reality is she MAY NOT love us, definitely at first, but even later... and we need to be prepared for that.
• that our bio kids will have difficulty adjusting
• of leaving my bio kids for 14-16 days to travel to China!!!!!
• that she will have physical and emotional needs that we won't have the first clue how to help with.

...and the list goes on and on.

It's not like this is the first time I'm thinking about these things... it's just that sometimes I'm optimistic that I can deal with it all... and other times... well, not so much.

We aren't perfect parents. In fact, most of the time, we have no idea what we are doing.

But, we must trust that He will provide us with the skills necessary to deal with the needs, whatever they may be, of ALL of our children.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5,6

A Day at the Ballpark

My guys are BIG Red Sox fans. So, Saturday was nothing short of a fantastic for these two.

Started it out with a little league game...

Then a tour of Fenway Park...

B was lucky enough to get an official MLB baseball during batting practice...

Little rest in #9's red seat....

Some ice cream...

and the RED SOX WON!

Not a bad day huh?

Party-of-Gold - May 23rd!

This is a no brainer friends...

Come to my Party-of Gold party on Sunday, May 23rd at 5pm and EARN MONEY!

Yes, you heard right... come to a my house, eat some yummy food and walk away with a check in-hand made out to YOU!

AND (here's the big win-win friends).... As hosts for this party, we will earn a percentage of the total gold sold at the party. All proceeds benefitting the "Bring G Home Adoption Fund!"

It's a WIN-WIN!!! You make money AND you help raise money to bring our daughter home to her forever family. :)

Email me (click the button on the right side-bar) for more information and/or to confirm your attendance.

BRING FRIENDS!!! or bring your friends gold with you. You/they don't even need to present to get paid! Lots of options if you can't make it, so let me know if you have some gold to sell.

Don't forget the men in your life... they might have a big 'ole gold chain necklace laying around from the 80's... it's probably worth tons! Broken jewelry... SELL IT! That ugly necklace your high school boyfriend gave you... SELL IT! If you are like me you will say "I don't have much to sell", I brought a few small things to one of these parties and I walked away with over $200.

And remember, best of all... a percentage of the total gold sold at the party will go directly to our adoption fund.

Thanks everyone for being a part of this journey....and helping to bring G home to us!

Tag Sale Weekend

Whew.

Two days of tag sales - two visas paid for. Was it worth it? Absolutely! We now have a couple hundred dollars for the adoption fund that we didn't have on Friday morning. :-)

Special thanks to three great families that donated both time and stuff to the cause. One of those friends spent all day with me (and my kids) on Friday AND Saturday.... made us lunch, provided companionship and MOST IMPORTANTLY... provided the beautiful lawn to spread out our stuff and camp for two days.

THANK YOU FRIENDS!!!

Clever

Like most kids, ours really enjoy helping to bake.... especially chocolate chip cookies.

As a result of poor behavior at the park today, B lost the privilege of being able to help bake cookies with his Dad this afternoon. K and D happily measured and mixed and taste tested in his place.

B wasn't being banished to his room, he was just told he couldn't help bake. And he was NOT happy.

A few minutes into cookie baking, B's remote control car arrived in the kitchen with a note attached.

The note proclaimed... "I am in my room and I am never coming out!"

Lesson learned.

Now, can we all laugh? :-)

Bragging

There is this guy in our house... he goes by several names, Dad, Hun, Daddy, and S (to name a few).

He's pretty darn amazing.

I couldn't possible list all the reasons why... cooks, cleans, mows, fixes...you name it... he does it.

OH... and laundry. He does ALL the laundry. He sometimes jokes that I need a map to find the washing machine. I do.

But, what he does best... he LOVES his kids. He plays, helps with homework, goes to cub scout sleep overs, plays catch, hits golf balls, plays soccer, rides bikes, tickles, reads, wrestles, teaches, jokes, gives baths, nurses the sick, cooks special breakfasts, and cuddles.

Pretty much this guy DOES IT ALL... 365 days a year.

182 days a year we share him with three hundred 3rd - 6th grade kids. These 300 students are like his own. He cares for them and believes in them. He devotes countless hours finding ways of engaging, coaching and motivating them. He gets them involved in exercise and community service, he supports them in their extra-curricular activities, he shows up at soccer games, baseball games, and school plays to cheer on his students. Never, not once, does he complain about going to work... even on a Saturday morning or a Friday night. Probably because it's just not work to him.... he loves it THAT much.

I don't see him in action at school very often, but when I do I am reminded AGAIN how proud I am of the work he does.

Why am I bragging about my husband? Because I can. And because I want to shout it from the roof-tops (apparently this blog is my version of a roof-top)...

HE IS AMAZING and I am abundantly blessed to be married to him.

18 to 24

We KNOW that this wait is FAR from predictable and it will probably change every day, every week, every month that we receive an update from our agency. There are countless factors... many having to do with things happening in China that we cannot predict, understand or, obviously, control.

The latest...

There are 250 families currently "waiting" in our agency's waiting child program. Families who have recently been matched (desiring similar age range, gender and medical conditions as us) have waited 18-24 months.

18-24 months seems like a LONG time.

Especially since the hole in my heart seems to grow each day. And that feeling... OH that feeling... an ache...like when you MISS someone terribly...it just keeps getting worse. We've only be at this about a month... what's my heart going to feel like in 18 or 24?

Sigh.

The red thread

April or July?

Sunny and 85 degrees on this beautiful April day! Yup... April.

I'm not complaining. Neither are the kids.

Where's D you ask? The poor kid is sick and I wouldn't let him play in the water with a fever of 103. So, he looked longingly outside...

And yes, that IS chocolate around his mouth. I mean what Mom could resist a sick child, with those eyes, asking for a piece of Easter candy?

I'm sure next week we will be back to our typical New England spring weather. In fact, since I put away the snow boots, mittens, hats and coats on Monday... it will probably snow.

An inappropriate post about a three-year old

Three year olds are really amazing and really challenging.

They are developing their language and every day they say something super cute. They are fiercely independent wanting to do EVERYTHING themselves. But, the next minute they are still the babies that we still want them to be.... cuddled up with their blanket on your lap.

They say and do so many funny things in one week that you could write a book.

They are also learning self-control. We have a little guy in this house that isn't learning self-control easily (read: temper tantrums). He pushes the limits. He "forgets" to use his manners. One minute he wants to do something himself and then next minute he is demanding you do it for him. Testing what he can get away with, and what he cannot.

But, he wants SO much to be a big kid and trying to be the BIG kid he thinks he is, he sometimes gets himself into predicaments.

Today was one of those days.

I'm sitting downstairs working on our computer.

D had unusually dissappeared upstairs (warning!), K went up to get herself a drink of water, she comes back downstairs and full of the expression K is known for says....

"D is upstairs and just went to the bathroom, he has used A LITTLE BIT too much toilet paper"

Uh oh!

I run upstairs and find D standing on a stool, trying to clean himself with the BIGGEST wad of toilet paper I have ever seen. An entire toilet paper roll worth. The wad is about three times the size of his little toosh.

I tried to recreate in this picture...

It doesn't do it justice.

Anyway, it's a day in the life of a three year old. But this one made me laugh HARD and I since we can all use a laugh...I thought I'd share.

Inappropriate, maybe. But FUNNY!

Update: paperwork

I said I would focus... and focus we have. Here is an update on our paperwork process (I hope this doesn't scare anyone... if I can do it ANYONE can do it!)

Completed:

passports

homestudy application

background check forms

pediatrician statement for each of the kids

physical forms (x2)

education statement from B's teacher

reference letters (emailed out to our dear friends to complete)

fingerprints (x2)

police clearance reports from our town (x2)

new marriage certificate

new birth certificates (x2)

financial statement

adoption petition

salary verification (x2)

and various release forms for things (I stopped reading and just kept signing)

Our big task for the weekend is the completion of the parent questionnaire for the home study. We each need to do this individually. We also hope to get the questionnaires for the kids completed.

OH and clean the house for our first visit from the home study social worker on Monday.

Somehow, this is all sort of fun. I'm beginning to realize that the hardest part isn't going to be filling out all these forms... but the waiting that is going to occur after we're done.

A sign

I'd say we've recieved our fair share of "signs" that we are on the right path with this adoption.

Here's the latest...

Last week I brought the three kids to the public library. Of course, they all want to pick out books. D (our three year old) goes to one of the many shelves of books, grabs the first one he sees and requests to take it home. I don't argue... I don't even look at it, I grab it, put it in the pile and head home.

We don't read any of the books for a whole week.

S sits down to read to the kids last night, all three of them ready to listen. One of them hands him the library book that D picked out "The Coffee Can Kid". He starts reading. I'm listening (barely) from the other room as he is reading. I realize that the book is about a little girl adopted from China. She is asking her parents about the only picture that her parents have of her as a baby (her referral picture) and a letter that was left with her as a baby.

I run into the room... "What are you reading?" Steve looks at me sideways with a look of "You picked it out" and K says "It's the book D picked out at the library last week".

I then tell Steve (who thought I had purposely picked out the book) that D pulled it off the shelf and I didn't even look at it before I checked it out.

We are in awe. I mean, there are literally thousands of books on the shelves... and he picks THIS one?

Here is what S continues to read....

"This is a letter from your birthmother. She wrote it the day she said good-bye."

"What does it say?"

"It says that she loves you, and not a day will go by that she doesn't think of you. It says she hopes you are happy and strong and in a home where there is enough to eat. She hopes that you are with people who love you as much as she does"

S barely got through the words... and I had a tears streaming down my face.

I think God wanted us to read this book. How about you?

We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.

A little girl and an envelope

This here is a story of a plain white envelope and a little girl with a beautiful giving heart.

I received a delivery today from a very good friend who shared our blog with her 7-year old daughter.

This delivery wasn't the usual bag full of hand-me down clothes that I am used to receiving from this particular friend. But... OH... it was worth SO much more.

It was an envelope with 5 words beautifully inscribed in 7-year old handwriting...

"For Grace, Love, C**** S****"

The envelope clanged when you moved it... heavy with change (and a few dollars too)!

A weeks (more?) worth of allowance?!

All. For. Grace.

Now THAT is amazing.

The beauty of one little girl's soul was revealed today.

So far, this adoption has touched many lives and stirred feelings in my heart I hardly expected.

Thanks CS. I already knew you were a sweety but WOW! I can't wait for you to meet G! and I can't wait to see what your generous heart is going to do for this world as you grow.

Priceless

I'm sure you all can imagine... adoption - it ain't cheap.

But, we're pretty sure that G is worth it. :-)

We have to come up with a large sum of money in a relatively short period of time (12-18 months). We don’t have lots of extra income that we can just stash away. It’s not going to be easy. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t say… how are we going to do this?

I worry less about the future. I know that sounds strange. NOPE… our kids won’t have everything. They won’t have weekend ski trips, unlimited after-school activities, yearly extravagant vacations, or fully-funded college accounts.

They WILL have what we can provide. Love. It’s not everything, but it’s a lot… I can assure you of that. Oh and don't worry, they'll have food too.

So, how will we come up with the funds to complete this adoption?

We've been tightening our belts and working hard. In addition to our full-time jobs, S has spent two or three nights a week all winter plus all day on Saturdays officiating basketball games and I've picked up a little extra side job. I spend ½ a day on the weekends shopping all the sales, at all the grocery stores, to cut our grocery bill in half. No more coffees from Dunkin Donuts (or Starbucks), no more eating out, bring your lunch or go without. Golf… yup that too. And, if any of you know S, you know that is quite a sacrifice. But, you also know that there isn’t anything S wouldn’t do for his kids. There's more but I won't bore you with the details of our Dave Ramsey style budget.

We’re managing to put some money away. But, it’s slow.

The one thing we do have is faith. Faith that this will all come together.

So, dear reader (all 7 of you), you might get an invitation to a “sell-your-gold” party, or asked if you would like to buy a REALLY COOL t-shirt… you’ll understand why we are asking. It’s a GREAT cause.

Not every person is able to welcome a child into their family. But every person can help care for orphans by helping those who are...by praying for them, by encouraging them when they're exhausted, and by helping with the financial burden of bringing the child home.

Will you join with us? Will you help us bring Grace home? Details coming soon...

Until then (and because I HATE talking about money), here's a picture of our cute kids (minus one)...

44 pages

I thought I was prepared.

I was so NOT prepared.

We received access to our agency's "dossier guide" today. It gives step-by-step instructions for completing and authenticating all the paperwork. It's 44 pages long.

I'm keeping it real here folks...

I'm completely and totally overwhelmed. Like...."I'm not sure we can pull this off" overwhelmed. It seems like this could be a full-time job for a good two or three months. I'm NOT exaggerating.

What if we screw it up? What if the dossier gets all the way to China and they say "sorry... your I -something or other -form is messed up... you're out of luck"? What then?

OK... focus...get yourself together. Our little G is WAITING for us to do this.

The burning questions...

When?

It will probably be at least 12-18 months before we travel to China and welcome a new little one into our family. But this question is tricky... there are many, many factors that contribute to how long it will be.

Who?

We have requested to be matched with a little girl between the ages of 15 and 36 months.

Do we have a picture yet?

Not yet. Our agency will match us with a little one in a year or more. God certainly knows who she is, we can't wait for Him to let us in on the big secret!

Why?

Ah, now that is a question that requires a whole post in itself. I'm not really blessed with the gift to write what the heart feels so I'm not sure I have the words to answer it.

I'll say this... the question really has become for us - Why NOT? How can we NOT do this?