More of my thoughts on adoption… sorry if you are getting bored with this.
I LOVE reading adoption blogs. I absolutely rejoice in seeing, once orphaned, now beloved children thrive. I rejoice in the future that has been returned to them. I rejoice in the love they will now experience.
But, I just hate the pain.
My friends (here and here) returned from China and are in the throes of trying to find their “new normal”.
Actually, they are in the throes of jet lag… normal is going to have to wait a few days.
I won’t go into details, because it’s not my family story to tell, but needless to say...this journey… is just is NOT easy.
Last night, I cried. Again.
Because, I HATE to see children hurting.
After an emotional evening witnessing both physical and emotional heart-ache, I came home to find Gracie sitting, ever so sweetly, on her Daddy’s lap. Her beloved blanket in her hands, her Daddy’s arms wrapped around her.
She joyfully says “Hi Mom!” (yes, she calls me MOM, not Mama, not Mommy, but Mom).
She’s just beginning to string two and three words together. It doesn’t happen all that often. So, when the next thing she said was…
“Grace, Daddy, cuddle”
I fell apart in emotion.
Because one year ago, my Gracie was lost. And she was hurting. She was confused. She cried and couldn’t be consoled. She refused comfort on many levels. And she resorted to comfort from her blanket and her crib, rather than her parents. Over and over again.
But last night, it was pretty clear as she cuddled with her Daddy…
She was in her version of heaven. Right there in her Daddy’s lap.
And I was reassured.
These children (adopted last week, adopted tomorrow, adopted a year from now) will have pain ahead of them. But, I was reassured. They will come through these difficult days. Daddy’s lap will someday bring them comfort. And Mom’s soft, gentle hugs will, not only be accepted, but will be welcomed.
But it takes for us to have a real and true understanding and acceptance that their grief is real and deep.
And healing takes time.
And LOTS of patience.
Is it easy? Oh heck no.
Good things are hardly ever easy.
But man, oh man, is it GOOD.
“Grace, Daddy, Cuddle”
Attachment Through the Years: 5 Years Home
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