I had the honor and privilege of driving my friends to the airport this morning to start their long journey to China.
To share in that pre-trip anticipation was so much fun. The wait has finally ended for these friends. and I can't help but be jumping out of my skin in excitement for them.
It all looks so easy to the untrained eye.... "wow, that went fast" people said to us when we traveled, "it seemed so easy".
Months and months of paperwork.
Of questions, some that are answered, some that will ALWAYS remain unanswered.
You just don't just jump into this lightly. So many people read these blogs... and see the happy smiles on the parents' faces as they board planes, or as they arrive at the airport with their newest addition in their arms surrounded by welcoming friends and relatives.
Of smiling, once orphaned, children with bows in their hair and Mickey Mouse on their shirt.
But, what it often unseen, are the weeks and weeks of indecision. The weeks of praying that God shows you that this IS the right step for you. The almost constant voice that runs through your head "ARE WE NUTS"?
Because, adoption is indeed a little nutty.
The questioning eyes of loved ones. The doubts of your own faith. Of your own abilities. The constant wonder (and fear) of how life will change.
What is unseen... the little one, that almost a year after adoption cries in fear at night. Self-soothes during the day. Rummages for food at all hours. Of very real challenges of attachment and bonding. These are very real stories. I feel it's important to make sure people know... it isn't easy. At all. It's darn hard.
All parenting is darn hard. But, adoption parenting, it just adds another layer.
But while you question and wait... a little ones grainy picture pulls you through your doubts and fears. And while you are indeed afraid... you know that this is all in His hands. and His hands are big. and strong. and in His hands you are so completely and totally safe.
and yet, knowing all that I have said above... about how hard this really can be.... as I watched my friends walk away from the car (at 4 am this morning), towing their suitcases behind them, heading toward the next challenge God has laid before them...
I KNOW this is right. I KNOW without a doubt that how ever hard it may be... it will be SO GOOD! So, so, so good.
There's just know other way to put it.