Tuesday, February 22, 2011

While she is napping....an update...

Our girl is sad. So very sad. There are moments when tears just come down her face... without any sound.... just tears. She has every right to be sad. and scared. and totally and completely overwhelmed.

So, the fact that there are times when she seems to go into complete shut down mode...I think it's OK. All we can do is hold her, cuddle her, tell her we love her. I pray she feels our love and somehow knows she is safe with us.

There are also moments that she is very feisty! throwing things... and busy, busy hands... finding anything within reach to grab (and throw). We have had a couple good smiles (especially after food!) and even a few giggles.

Her cry is pathetic. When she cries very little sound comes out. I think she has a very wide cleft and the air escapes before the sound comes out??!!! (bloggy Mom's of cleft affected kids... is that possible?). Her giggle is much the same... you know she is giggling but there is very little sound.

She still has a very nasty sounding cough. We are hoping her fever is gone. But, I won't know for sure until we make it through the evening without any motrin. I would swear it's bronchitis, maybe even pneumonia, but hoping the antibiotic will take care of whatever it is.

As far as walking... we haven't seen her crawl (which we KNOW she can do because we have seen pictures)... let alone walk. We have tried to stand her up a couple times today... but she just cries because she doesn't want us to put her down.

She will go to either one of us... but doesn't want to let the other parent out of sight. We are VERY grateful that she is going to both of us. Hope that doesn't change. Again, today she has been very clingy... we can't even put her on the floor next to us, she will cry. She has to be held all the time.

It is very hard to carry her because she doesn't know how to wrap her legs around you waist or hold on at all. So, even though she doesn't weigh all that much, it is very hard for me to carry her around a lot. We are going to break out the infant carrier for our trip to Walmart later.

I'll post some pictures from our day later... a BIG day I might add... but I just wanted to post an update on she is adjusting while she was napping.

Thanks for all the kind and loving comments you have left. I can't tell you how much it means to read them. As we operate in our bubble here in the hotel, you sort of feel a million miles away from everyone and everything... the comments make us feel very supported, very loved and not so far away.


  1. moments after I posted this... Grace woke up crying WITH SOUND! Most have been our sore throat that was making it so she didn't have any sound. :)

  2. I think you are right about the sore throat and the lack of sound! I don't "think" it has to do with her cleft. Lily had a 3rd degree cleft (the worse) and we did not have those issues. Hang in there, she just needs time and so when you are having a hard day remember just how scared she is. She WILL come around and she will love you beyond measure. God chose this little girl for you both because he knew she would need you and you would need her so hang on to that. I remember just wanting to go home after we got our daughter. It is a long time to be away, but cherish this time with her with just the 3 of you. You will miss it one day. Embrace each moment!

  3. Deb & Steve,
    Praying for her health and heart!
    She'll get used to you guys caring for all of her needs.... and she'll come to trust that you won't go away.

  4. amy was like that--- we knew she could walk- but she literally would not let go of me (only me) until guangzhou- she took her first steps for us there! and it does take them a while to figure out how to hold on!!!! have you had yisha get a dr. to check her out? i am so excited to have a new face for our calendar-- cuz it's a way cute one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. No pictures?!? Kidding of course (kind of) :-)
    I read this about 2 minutes after you posted it last night. I need to stop doing that because then I wake up in the morning wanting more & have to wait :-)
    I am hoping & praying that every moment, every kiss, every I love you breaks down a bit of that wall that Grace has and she knows that she is ever so loved..both with you and WAY WAY WAY on the other side of the world :-)
    Hope the sling helps if that is what you brought.


  6. It will get better over time! My sister was 30 lbs and didn't know how to wrap her legs around either. It was so hard to hold her! She learned after about a week though so it should get better!

  7. Dear Deb and Steve,

    We are praying for healing for Grace in both body and heart. We are also praying for the two of you. Even though intellectually we understand what is going on with our little ones, it still hurts our hearts to see it. Praying for comfort and peace during this exciting and chaotic time!

  8. I was doing some stuff on our blog and noticed a place where J is "following" other blogs. It showed that you added two posts that DON"T SHOW UP when I actually go to your blog.??? They are listed as having been posted AFTER the "Napping Update" one. Not sure if it's my computer or something with China, or what. Just thought I'd mention it. This napping post is the latest post I see. Not that I'm overly anxious and constantly checking to see more updates or anything.... :-)

  9. So thankful to hear your sweet one is doing all the right things... grieving it the BEST thing she could do. That means she was attached and will attach to you as well~ excellent news. It is also wonderful that she won't let you put her down. I promise I held or carried my 3 year old in China for the whole 2 weeks in a carrier. I did not put her down except to take a shower and then just stood by the shower door and cried. I think it made our attachment and bond SO strong. She didn't go to her dad at all and I think that was positive too. SO happy you all are doing so well and praying you have a wonderful night of sleep!!!!!