Tuesday, March 8, 2011

There is something about 3 am

So, here I am again... rocking a semi-sleeping baby at 3am. I never thought I'd been sitting in the all too familiar propped up position in my bed trying to get a baby to sleep at 3 am again.

But here I am.

And I find myself loving 3 am. "HOW can that be?" you ask?

At 3 am, my daughter lets down her guard just ever so slightly. She rests her head on my chest. She breathes deeply and silently. And she sleeps.

In just a few short hours, she will become aware that she isn't all that comfortable yet in this place called home. She will refuse to put her oh-so-tired head on my shoulder. She will arch her back and cry with big huge tears that would flood the Yellow River "PLEASE LET ME BE, I'm overwhelmed, overstimulated and JUST PLAIN TIRED and I am really not used to all this cuddling!"

But, oh 3 am.

She forgets that she is in a new and strange place.

And I hold her. And I whisper words in her ear. In her semiconscious state she hears my voice. She smells my Mommy scents. She reaches up and touches my face and plays with my hair.

I pray that these 3 am snuggles will help her to realize deep down in her wounded heart that my heart is hers.



  1. Another person that you don't know, finding you from Love Changes Lives, and commenting on your wonderful story. After reading over your whole journey, this post finally made me comment. Beautiful.

    We just got back with our Natalie in August and some of your in China posts had me wanting to rush back. Thankfully the last two helped me remember i am OK for now. The love of this one is enough to last. Forever.

  2. Beautiful and wonderful to see how well you understand her heart and her needs... God is good!


  3. so sweet-- she is adorable!!!!!!!!

  4. Wonderful post, she's beautiful!! The walls are coming down, slowly but surely!! Hugs!!

  5. How precious!!!! We are also open to cleft lip and palate, but I have to be honest that I am a little nervous about it. How's it going with eating? Looking forward to following your journey....you are so blessed!! :)

  6. love that she is cuddling and resting, even at 3am. We too are up a few times in the night. We get the wimpering, back arching, screaming, then sigh, then resting on our chest to fall asleep. So great.