I wasn't quite prepare for this. I mean, I was. But...nothing quite prepares you to see your little girl, who has only been with you only eight short weeks, in so much pain.
And she is in pain.
A lot of it.
The nurses are trying to keep it under control, but it hasn't been easy. If they give her too much pain medicine her oxygen saturation drops. So, it's a balance.
For the first time all.night... She is sleeping comfortably right now. A nice dose of morphine will do that.
She is so swollen. SOOO swollen. She has a little breathing tube in her nose to help her breath a little better. basically...she looks awful.
I never had to sit by a bedside in a hospital overnight with one of my children. I'd like to never have to again. Because seeing her like this.... Awful.
I'm pretty sure we won't be going home today unless she drastically improves in the next couple hours. I'm totally ok with staying because I can't imagine taking care of her at home right now.
While I know that this is all going to help her in the long run. Wow... I'm feeling terribly guilty that we had to put her through it.
I'm eagerly awaiting the return of my rock, my husband, who went home for the night to be with the kids. And I'm drinking a very large cup of coffee. Perhaps they can hook up an IV for me?
Fighting to Slow Down
1 day ago