One long week

I feel like this week has been a month long.

This has been a hard week.

Seeing your child feeling sooooo terrible, not easy on a Momma's heart. But I know, as hard as my week has been, hers has been worse.

We are beginning to feel like we have done permanent damage to our littlest. She is so unhappy. We are longing to see our Grace's smile again.

The surgeon feels like the surgery was quite "Successful". That is .... he got done what he wanted to get done. But, it was a lot. And it hurts. A lot. The major part of her surgery was, of course, the palate repair. But, Grace also had tissue added to the underside of her upper lip to "release" her lip. Additionally, the surgeon also repaired a small area on the outside of her lip.

The first couple days home from the hospital we were practically forcing her to drink. She refused (and still refuses) a bottle, a sippy cup, and a spoon. The only way we can get her to drink is through a medicine syringe. She still isn't eating. She has eaten two yogurts in a week. That's it.

Mid-week she ran a fever and the swelling on her upper lip got worse. After seeing two doctors in two days... they determined that she must have gotten a virus, because the fever didn't seem to be related to the surgery. A relief. BUT... we had one miserable girl on our hands.

(I kept finding Grace with her blanket laying in the middle of the floor. Just so sad. Here, B lays with her trying to comfort her)

Still, she isn't sleeping well at all. She isn't eating. and she is just barely drinking enough. But, her swelling has gotten much better in the last two days, so we see that as a sign of good things to come. There are also periods of time that she does get off my lap and go play for a little while. For those moments... we are also grateful.

I have no idea if this normal. As much as I have read about cleft repairs, every child is different, so it's hard to really know what to expect and what is "normal".

All I know for sure... I want her to feel better.

(Looking a little better! But, those eyes are just so sad)

Needless to say. We're pretty tired around here. Between trying to nurse our little one back to health and keeping up with the crazy amount of spring activities... we're about to fall over by the days end.