Monday, April 11, 2011

On Adoption...

I'm reluctant to write this post. But, the truth is... there are a 147 million orphans worldwide... and therefore 147 million reasons why I must. So, jumping out of my comfort zone. I will write.

First, I will say. I KNOW adoption is not a good fit for every family. I get that.

But, if there is just one person out there reading this blog that's heart is calling them to adoption but the voices of fear flood the brain and won't let you move forward.... this post is for you.

Before we had children, S and I have talked about adopting. But, it was along the lines of "wouldn't it be cool if we could do that"... just like "wouldn't it be cool to buy a villa in Italy" or "wouldn't it be cool to travel all around the world".

And then we watched the miracle of adoption unfold in the lives of people around us. The thought of these children living without parents, without medical treatment, without love.... made our hearts break. Our hearts were torn open for the orphan.

BUT, what would our families' think? do we have the energy? do we have the space in our three bedroom/one bathroom ranch home? is it "fair" to the other children? what if we can't afford vacations anymore? what if we can't afford all that we WANT? and of course... WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY!

Trust me. We didn't have the money. Not too many people have $25,000 sitting in the bank just to spend on a whim. We really didn't have it. Some may say we made an irresponsible decision to move forward. Many would disagree with how we proceeded without all the resources.

But, we just knew.... deep in our heart... we simply must. Our family was not complete. We had so much more love to give. And there were 147 million reasons on the "pro" side of the equation... and only two or three reasons that seems awfully selfish on the "con" side.

And yes, we'll be a bit squished in our house. But a child will HAVE a home. And NO, we might not have fully-funded college accounts for our children. But, our children will be offered an education. And this I can guarantee... we will LOVE. Oh man... how we will love. (we had yet realize HOW MUCH we would love).

God has provided for our every need. Both financial and emotional. Without much asking... people gave to us so much. They gave us their support. But, they also gave to us financially. God also taught us the art of saving. We saved. And saved. and "sacrificed"... although to say that "no we won't go out to dinner tonight" is a sacrifice seems rather odd when you think about how selfish that really is. We worked extra jobs and saved every penny.

Every dollar of the adoption expenses was provided for.

And as I look at our little girl playing with Mr. Potato Head on the floor next to me... oh man... how can I express or gratitude. She is the biggest most amazing blessing in our lives. Some say "she is lucky".... which I have to admit, drives me a bit crazy... LUCKY? hardly. But I digress.

WE ARE LUCKY!!! No... we are BLESSED. Beyond words. I'm not sure why God picked us as Grace's parents. But, I know we don't deserve her.

And that leads me onto my next rambling idea here...

I think people look at us and think about how we are somehow more equipped to handle this than themselves.

We are NOT angels. Oh goodness no!

We mess up ALL. THE. TIME. We yell, we scream, we get annoyed at our kids, we get frustrated with them, sometimes I sit at the computer and write blog posts while letting my kids watch TV for an hour. YUP. I do. My house is a mess. My bathroom is gross. I can't keep appointments straight. And I rejoice for Monday morning when two of my four children get on a school bus. Whew.

Trust me. We are NOT anything special. We are parents that stepped out in faith to love a child. We are parents that even though it "seemed" that there was so much going against us, we decided to do it anyway. Despite the looks of fear on family members faces. Despite awkward silences when people heard our big news. Despite one bathroom. Despite a less than full bank account. We stepped out in faith. And it was SCARY! But, we knew this was what we were being asked to do. We could not turn our backs.

My point is. If there is just one person out there reading this... that is thinking all these things.

YOU can do this. Through God all things are possible.

If there are others out there that want to do something... but adoption isn't that right fit for your family.... There are other ways to help orphans both here in the US and worldwide.

Sponsor a child. Give to an organization that is helping orphans. Support another family who is trying to adopt. There are countless ways.

There are 147 million reasons why you should.


  1. Ok gracious I don't even know how to adequately respond to that my friend. So, so well written. You have put into words exactly what has been in my heart though you have expressed it more eloquently and clearly than I could. This is now the 2nd post today that I have read about how we can all rally and care and move and do for those left behind. It's such a different place to be in, newly home with our kiddos yet still broken over those still without. Where we go from here is definitely the big question.

  2. Wow. I love this post. Love it. Sooo true on soo many levels. And we aren't even matched yet. Thank you for sharing. We read a couple of similar posts back in the fall when we were filled with fear & wondering IF we could really do this. They were so encouraging. And how awesome to see firsthand exactly what you described of God providing.
    Oh, and I love how you keep it real on here... Broken finger & all. Makes me feel better ;-)

  3. Awesome post!!!! I am in the process of adopting from South Korea.:)

  4. SOOOO true!!! Love this post, spoken from the heart and so real!!! We stepped out in faith with our adoption and we've been home almost 2 years now!!!

  5. Awesome post! I am right there with you....gross bathroom and all! LOL

  6. Wonderful post, Deb!
    As long as you have one, there are much more important things than bathrooms. One is all we had with 5 kids and my folks raised 6 of us in a house with one bathroom and my grandparents lived with us, too!
    I'm sure you didn't have time to watch Dateline last night. It was about conditions for many Russian orphans, told through the story of a young man (now 20) with CP who finally "got out" when he was adopted by a single woman in Ohio when he was 9. Heartrending and compelling. I would think it might inspire some who would have these same doubts you talk about. I'd love to post a link to this post on FB. May I? Do I have to do anything special or can I just copy this page's url?

  7. Deb, your words continue to inspire me...Thanks!!

  8. Oh I just love this post! I laughed out loud at your description of how you aren't perfect - I can say everything that you said there as well. LOL! And I loved the comment about the awkward silences when you shared your big news. Oh yeah, I have had those too. I just have to laugh about it. The thing is that we know the secret - how these little treasures have changed us and enriched our lives beyond belief! Praise God for granting us these blessings!

  9. Awesome post. Thank you I needed to read that!! Kelly