Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Hard. Very, Very Hard.

***Warning: Keeping it real***

This is not going to be easy.

Christmas without Grace.

NOT going to be easy.

"Why so glum this Christmas D"?


Some say…some orphanages in China don’t have heat.

Some say…. that sometimes because there aren’t enough nannies to keep climbing toddlers safe…they tether children to their cribs.

Some say...
did I say this already, some orphanages don’t have heat.

I'm sorry to be a downer… but I have to be honest here....

Christmas, while one of my girls waits in China perhaps under circumstances described above…

NOT going to be easy.

Please tell me I’m not going to be this sad for the next 8-12 weeks? I can’t be. I’ve got three others counting on me to make Christmas special for them.

And an almost 6 year old who can’t wait for her birthday.

And an almost 4 year old that can’t wait for his.

But, I’m just so sad. That place in my heart where G belongs, it's a hole, and it's
painfully large.

Everyone says this part of the wait is the hardest. They weren’t kidding.

Please pray that God helps me and S and G survive (quite literally) this wait. We need all the prayers we can get.


  1. honestly-- a part of me was very sad during the wait-- exactly what you described- a whole in yor heart. but you are so close-- you are in single digit weeks!!! i honestly tried to keep my focus here-- on the kids i could touch. hang in there-- soon you will be holding her

  2. Girl this post was heart buh-reaking. Trying to type through tears for this one. I am so with you on these emotions but the thing I cling to, is that HE. IS. THERE. HE IS THERE! HE IS THERE! And your prayers for her unleashes the power of the Holy Spirit to draw near to her, to be by her side during these coming weeks and just remember that He loves her even more than you do. Cling to Him cuz He's clinging to her! Blessings my friend....I'm off to reapply my mascara now. :)

  3. I hear ya! We are waiting on the last leg too...and I am tired of waitin'!

  4. I've been right where you are... it is sooo HARD!!! Keep praying and she will be home soon!!! Hugs!!

  5. Deb -
    I don't have your email, so please email me...I have a Christmas present for you. :)

    I am sad to say there isn't heat, but she will be kept warm. Try not to worry!

    Jiaozuo, Henan