Friday, May 13, 2011

blanket/lovey attachment (reposted)

***Somehow blogger lost this post that I posted yesterday, but a follower retrieved it for me and I was able to repost, sorry if you got it through the feed twice. Thanks Michelle for your help!***

I'm one to believe that every kid needs to have a blanket or some kind of lovey to bring added comfort to their lives.

So, we have a few lovey's in the house.

There is "White Blanket". White Blanket has been around for almost nine years. It's no longer white... so sometimes we call it "Brown Blanket". It pretty much stays on the top bunk of a certain, almost nine year olds, bed. He doesn't NEED it anymore. But, he sure likes to have it. But, shhhh, don't tell his friends.

Here it is when it was still white, lying next to Braden on Christmas morning a few years ago.

Then there is "Bear". Sometimes known as "Beary". His name is "Bear" because, well... he's a bear. This little stuffed bear with a rattle in his tummy was given to Kailey by her Auntie when she was born. Bear traveled EVERYWHERE with us for many years, usually in the crook of Kailey's arm. Bear went missing a few years back. After a daycare Amber alert went out, Bear returned safely a few days later. Since then, Bear spends most days safely in Kailey's bed. We always know when Kailey is awake in the morning because you hear bear rattle from her room.

Then there is "Star Blankey"... because, well, it has stars on it. Star Blankey is Devin's lovey... although, he isn't quite as attached to it as the other two (ahem, three) are to theirs.

and now... we have Grace's blanket. Actually, blanketS. She has two. She will go for either, but prefers the polka dot one.

Now, why am I telling you all this.

Well, it seems we created a severe blanket attachment disorder with Grace. One that I getting a little concerned about. and NO, I'm really not kidding.

Blanket seems to be the the love of Grace's life. (Blanket doesn't have a name yet, other than ..."Blanket")

She wants Blanket with her ALWAYS. When she is eating, when she is playing, when she is sleeping, when she is getting dressed, she even asked for Blanket when she got in the bathtub.


I look at pictures... and Blanket is in almost EVERY picture.

This morning, Grace tripped and fell. I was standing right next to her. Instead of reaching up for me for comfort... she walked across the room and layed down on her Blanket.

Um. Yeah.

Should I be concerned? Should I limit access to blanket?

I'm glad she has something that comforts her. But, I fear, her blanket comforts her more than I do.

I've run into an attachment stumbling block. I might have read too many attachment books and I am worrying for nothing.

I do worry for nothing A LOT.

Please advise.


  1. ugh, sorry to hear this, but glad to hear this regarding blanket attachment. Maybe you've tried this, but perhaps when she goes to her blanket for comfort, you could help intercept and stay with her and the blanket so she will start to see mommy is just as good as the blanket?

  2. We had the same thing with a bear, and we talked with an attachment therapist about it. He said to just go with it, and see if it works itself out. After nine months, she is comfortable leaving bear at home, and he doesn't have to be present at EVERY activity. Most importantly, our daughter comes to us for comfort, and we no longer have to hold her and the bear :-)
    Good luck!

  3. My three year old has a blanket we introduced when we first brought her home at eleven months. I just held her and the blanket. Even now, at three, if she gets really upset, she wants the blanket, but she comes to us as well. I think I'd go with it and just hold her with the blanket rather than trying to limit access.

  4. It's only been a few months; maybe even though you are there for her, she can't let her heart trust yet that you are always there for comfort. My guess is that with time, the safe haven she finds with the blanket will transfer to her family.